


Unwanted Anniversaries

by afteriwake



Series: Stuff Of Improbable Legends [89]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Anniversary, Depressed Kirk, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, Gen, Inspired by Roleplay/Roleplay Adaptation, Male-Female Friendship, Memories, Molly Is Patient, Molly is a Good Friend, POV Kirk, Past Molly Hooper/Khan Noonien Singh, Post-Apocalypse, Roleplay Logs, angry Kirk, drunk kirk, painful memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 05:36:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8652904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/pseuds/afteriwake
Summary: Just after receiving his memories of what had happened after the second movie through the third, Kirk has to deal with the third anniversary of the apocalypse in Lawrence, and the results are decidedly not pretty. Fortunately, Molly lends an ear, even if Kirk doesn't want it at first.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sideofrawr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sideofrawr/gifts).



> So this is part Christmas present for **sideofrawr** and part future log for something we're planning in the NOLA game because on Thanksgiving we upgraded a lot of the Star Trek characters canon points since I _finally_ got to see "Star Trek Beyond" and then on December 23rd is the anniversary of the apocalypse in Lawrence, something Kirk pretty much refuses to go into detail about with anyone, not even his wife. So this will take place roughly around the 10th to 15th of December so he'll be better the last week before the anniversary.

He had a list of anniversaries in his life that were important to him. Most of them he celebrated; he looked for any excuse to spoil Rose so even the smallest anniversary of any significance to them he celebrated. The anniversary of them arriving in New Orleans was something he had looked forward to celebrating before he had three years of memories crammed into his head and he’d hoped it would overshadow the other anniversary, but...no such luck.

It probably would have been easier, this year, if he hadn’t had such a vivid reminder of something he wanted to forget from his life in Lawrence, or rather some _one_. And then having the new memories show up on Thanksgiving and the feelings of all of _that_ mixed in didn’t help, and it had stirred up thoughts and feelings from his old life in Starfleet he hadn’t thought about in a while. To be honest, having Khan arrive in My hadn’t been so bad because Khan had limited most of his interactions to email, and even then, very rarely, much like their time in Lawrence prior to his relationship with Molly; once she and McCoy had immediately made it clear his presence would not be tolerated, he’d sunk into the background again.

But this upcoming anniversary, the one he didn’t want to celebrate...the problem was there were _too many_ reminders here in New Orleans to forget the damn asshole and his presence even though it had been temporary. Rose’s Center was here. Greaves House was here. He was friends with Regina, Endeavour and Armand, and they had all gone through the battle with him. Sherlock had been through a lot up to the battle but had been in the hospital the day of. Part of him envied him for that, not that there hadn’t been fallout for everyone in Lawrence even if they hadn’t been in the graveyard.

As if the mere thought of the graveyard was a magnet it brought back the memories he didn’t want to think about and he reached over for the bottle of whiskey and took another drink. He knew it wasn’t a good idea to drink so much. He knew it wasn’t a good idea to slack off, or push people away, or any of that. He knew there were people who cared. But most of them didn’t understand, and of the ones who did most of them hadn’t seen the aftermath. He could probably talk to Regina, maybe, but she had never seemed as affected as everyone else. Maybe she compartmentalized better. If so, she was damn lucky.

He let the whiskey glide down his throat. He knew Rose was having it rough, too. She had nasty anniversaries to think about, and he was keeping her as close as she would let him. They were kind of burying themselves in preparing for Christmas, which helped, but he wished he could talk to her. But it was hard, getting all of this out. He didn’t want to talk about it. It had been three years, even if last year he’d managed to skip the anniversary and show up here two years later. He’d never been more thankful for anything in his life.

Guess karma was kicking his ass for it this year.

He felt like he was being a shitty husband and a shitty father which was making it all worse, too. He knew that Rose was hurting, but she wasn’t the type to easily open up. Paste a smile on her face and act like it was okay, that was his wife. He was the one who wallowed. Give him a few days and usually it was over and done with. But this...this was different. Memories of home, the anniversary, and some pent up thoughts he’d kept at bay since last year, and since May too, had all mingled together and he was a mess.

He was about to have more whiskey when there was a knock at his study door. He set the bottle back down and pushed it aside slightly. “Yeah?” he asked.

“It’s me,” he heard Molly say from the other side. “I thought we could talk?”

He frowned. Not that he didn’t enjoy her company, but some of the thoughts he’d had, some of the not quite as nice ones, had been about her and things in Lawrence he’d never understood. Namely her and Khan. He wasn’t sure he trusted himself not to bring it up. “Not the best time, Molly.”

“I know what’s coming up,” she said quietly. “The anniversary. Are you...do you want to talk?”

He leaned his head back against his chair. He knew she knew. How could she not? She and Regina were really good friends, and he remembered that she and Harry had been close and it had been her asking him about it that had been why they got close, and also what had… 

Not worth dwelling on.

Also not worth dwelling on was there were probably nights were certain genetically enhanced super-soldiers couldn’t sleep and told her about it. Not a thought he really needed to think about.

“Don’t want to talk about it,” he said.

“I...umm...I understand,” Molly said. There was a pause. “You know, if you do, though, I’m willing to listen.”

“Like you did with Khan?” he said before he stopped himself.

“Yes,” she said quietly. “You know, despite everything that happened that day to you and everyone else, he wasn’t pleased people were sent to Hell. He wasn’t pleased they were tortured. He didn’t relish the imperfect victory. And when Sam was brought back, he worried about him. He did care, in his own way.”

“Defending him?” Kirk asked bitterly.

“Simply stating facts,” she said. “I may no longer be in love with him, but I did care at one time about him. That doesn’t entirely go away, even if I despise the things he did to you and your crew. Even if I will never forgive him for coming here and thinking of me as his and assuming that my life had not changed in the time he was gone and I may not have moved on. My heart broke when he was taken, but I had only seen one side of him. You didn’t exactly rush to demonize him, and I think that the fact you were railroaded into not telling me the whole truth was a travesty. The fact he chose not to tell me when there was all that time was a fault of his and something I can’t forgive him for.” She paused. “I may have cared for him, but the way that the second chances were enacted in Lawrence was flawed, and pardon my French but you were royally fucked over when he was lauded as a hero for what he did in the apocalypse. He was brave, yes, but you shouldn’t have had to pretend you were fine with him. And I am sorry I propagated that.”

Kirk was quiet for a moment and then got up and opened the door, looking at her. She looked unsure of herself, but he reached forward and grasped her hand. She gave him a small smile and then came into the study, looking around. “Yeah, I got rid of some stuff. But I’m sure you know that.”

“So you’ve realized Leonard and I have been in here?” she said, her smile turning into a smirk.

“Is there a room you guys _haven’t_ fooled around in in this house?” he asked, giving her a small smile.

“Kenzi’s,” she said. “And the nursery. And yours.”

“Surprising,” he said.

“We have _some_ modicum of respect,” she said. She sat down across from him, letting go of his hand. “Feel free to keep drinking, James, as long as you have something for me.”

“Will cola do?”

Molly nodded. “It will.”

Kirk went and got a glass, then went to the Star Trek themed cooler Rose had gotten him and pulled out a bottle of Coke. He poured a glass and then handed it to her, and sat down and picked up the whiskey, raising it. “To old friends who aren’t here and imperfect victories,” he said.

“Here here,” she said, tapping her glass against his bottle before taking a sip. When she was done, she set her glass down and then leaned back in her chair to get comfortable. “Well, James, my afternoon is all yours. Whatever you want to talk about, I’m here to listen.”

He nodded and then took a sip, trying to figure out where to start. He wasn’t sure where to start, with the battle itself or the aftermath or his anger at Khan or what, but he knew that letting her in today had been a good decision. Maybe, just maybe, it might be the best decision he had made in a long while...


End file.
